SERVICES

Couples Therapy

I provide couples therapy for partners throughout California via secure video sessions. My practice is designed for couples caught in familiar, painful cycles: the pursue-withdraw pattern, the partner who over-functions and the partner who checks out, the fights that are never really about the dishes. Whether you're trying to rebuild trust after a rupture or simply tired of having the same argument in different clothes, we'll work on understanding what's actually driving the disconnection and building a relationship where both of you can show up fully.

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What We'll Work On

Therapy is tailored to your specific needs, but common themes include:

Understanding the cycle you keep falling into and what each of you is protecting when it starts
Rebuilding trust and safety after a betrayal, rupture, or period of disconnection
Shifting out of pursue-withdraw or over-functioning/under-functioning dynamics
Learning to communicate needs directly instead of through criticism, shutdown, or silent resentment
Understanding how each partner's attachment history shows up in the relationship — and stops being a mystery to the other
Rebuilding intimacy and closeness without either partner losing themselves in the process

How Therapy Works

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How Therapy Works ~

Format

Weekly 60 or 90 minute video sessions via a secure, HIPAA-compliant Zoom platform. No downloads or special software required.

Location

I'm licensed in California and see couples throughout the state. Sessions are conducted entirely online, so you can meet from wherever feels comfortable and private for both of you.

Frequency

Most couples meet weekly, especially in the earlier stages of the work. Consistency matters when you're trying to interrupt a long-standing cycle. We can adjust frequency as things stabilize.

Duration

Some couples work with me for a few months to move through a specific rupture or conflict pattern. Others stay longer to do deeper work on communication, trust, and intimacy. There's no required commitment. We'll discuss what makes sense for you both during the initial consultation.

My Approach

I use an integrative approach, which means I draw from multiple therapeutic modalities based on what will actually help your relationship:

Attachment Theory — Understanding how each partner's early relationships created the blueprint they bring into this one, and how those two blueprints interact

Relational Psychodynamic Therapy — Exploring the unconscious patterns each of you brings to conflict, particularly around caretaking, vulnerability, and fear of abandonment

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) — Practical tools for interrupting reactive cycles, challenging unhelpful narratives about each other, and building new communication skills

Compassion-Focused Therapy — Learning to extend the same understanding to your partner's protective patterns that you'd want extended to your own

Some sessions will focus on what's happening right now: a fight from this week, a boundary that got crossed, a moment neither of you handled well. Other sessions will dig into the deeper patterns: why this particular disagreement always escalates the same way, what each of you learned early about closeness and conflict, how those histories are colliding.

I follow the relationship's lead and adjust based on what's actually helping.

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What to Expect

Free 15-Minute Consultation

1

We'll talk briefly about what's bringing you to couples therapy, what you're both hoping will change, and whether we're a good fit. This is your chance to get a feel for my approach and ask any questions. There's no pressure to commit.

Initial Sessions (Sessions 1-3)

2

We'll spend time understanding your story as a couple: how you met, the cycle you're stuck in, what you've each tried before, and what's not working. I'll ask about both of your histories, your individual attachment patterns, and what's happening currently. This helps me understand the full picture so we can build a plan that fits your relationship specifically.

Ongoing Work

3

Therapy becomes a space where you can both show up honestly and not performing, not scoring points, not rehearsing the argument you had in the car. We'll work on the cycle keeping you stuck, build new ways of communicating, and help you develop a different way of relating to each other.

Who This is For.

This work is best suited for couples who are:
✓ Willing to look at their own role in the cycle, not just their partner's
✓ Ready to explore uncomfortable emotions and patterns together
✓ Interested in understanding *why* the conflict happens, not just how to stop the fighting
✓ Open to talking about feelings, vulnerability, and attachment dynamics
✓ Tired of repeating the same argument and ready to try something different

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Who This Might Not Be For.

I do my best work with couples who both want to explore their relationship dynamics and are willing to look inward. If one or both partners are primarily looking for a mediator to declare who's right, or aren't interested in examining their own contribution to the pattern, we're probably not the right fit.

I also want to name that couples therapy isn't the appropriate setting when there's active domestic violence or coercive control in the relationship. That requires a different kind of support, and I'm happy to help point you toward it.

Getting Started.

Step 1: Book a Free Consultation

We'll have a brief 15-minute phone call to see if we're a good match. I’m happy to answer any questions you have at this point and share more about my approach to therapy.

Step 2: Schedule Your First Session

If we all feel it's a fit, we'll schedule your first full session and I'll send you intake paperwork.

Step 3: Begin Therapy

Show up as you are. We'll figure out the rest together.

Your Questions, Answered

No. My role isn't to decide who's right in a given argument. It's to help you both understand the cycle you're in and what's driving it. Almost every couple I work with is contributing to the pattern in some way, even when it doesn't feel that way in the moment.
Sometimes, depending on what the work calls for. If we do individual sessions, I'll be clear with you both about how confidentiality works so there are no surprises.
Yes. Individual therapy focuses on your own patterns and history. Couples therapy focuses on the relationship itself and the cycle the two of you create together. Some couples do both at once. Others start with couples work and add individual sessions later if it's useful.
That's common, and it doesn't mean the work won't be effective. A lot of hesitant partners come around once they see the first session isn't about being blamed. I'm happy to talk to both of you beforehand about what to expect.
Not at all. Some of the most effective work happens before a relationship is in crisis, when there's still enough goodwill and energy to build new patterns rather than repair a lot of damage first.
It depends on what brought you in. Some couples see real shifts within a few months, like less escalation, faster repair after conflict, and more direct communication. Deeper work, particularly after a betrayal or with long-standing attachment patterns, typically takes longer. We'll check in regularly about what's working.